epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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