super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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