Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
