i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
