"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
