So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
