Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize