I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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