so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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