College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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