dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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