good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
