I'm jealous of your bromance
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
