john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
