butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
