how can u be prego again
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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