Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
