Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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