If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
