I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
