My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
