This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize