Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
