craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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