I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i barfeds in our rink
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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