I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
