I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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