I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
