I want to make a zoo with you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
