so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
