I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
