I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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