i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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