I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
