Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
