ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
NoShamevember. You game?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
