im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
