If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize