My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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