I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
