The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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