She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
