hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
