Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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