HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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