you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
