My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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