i permit you to call me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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