I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What a dumb baby whore.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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