the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
