Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
