we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Someone signed my nipple.
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