I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
