Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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