so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
