He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
