Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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