So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
